Review of movie trailers before Poor Things

I love going to the normie movie theater because I get to see the hollywood movie trailers instead of the tragic trailers for foreign films at the local independent theater. These are the trailers I saw 1/9/24 before Poor Things.

Mean Girls 2024

This movie looks seriously bad. It doesn’t seem woke or anything but the characters are all uglier without explanation. I feel like Regina George and the plastics are not really hot enough for those roles. Otherwise just looks like a boring remake of the original. I’ve heard it’s a musical too but there was no indication of that ?? The trailer makes me want to not watch this but I’ll probably watch a camrip if I’m really bored. One star out of five.

The Fall Guy

There was some classic rock song playing over and over during this trailer. I think it was You Give Love a Bad Name (not sure if that’s what it’s called) by Bon Jovi (not sure if it’s by him/them). Anyway the chorus was on repeat for like 80% of the trailer and was a huge mistake because it was annoying. For some reason I was thinking the apparent premise would be fun if Harmony Korine directed, but Harmony Korine did not direct it. Looks like a pretty stupid movie and I don’t think Ryan Gosling is talented or charismatic or handsome enough as a lead, but it could be fun. Two stars out of five.

All of Us Strangers

This movie looks like it has real potential and the one guy is very handsome and has beautiful brown eyes. But I think the trailer relied on his handsome face a little too much to sell the movie. The vague premise of the movie is clear enough but doesn’t really hint at plot developments. Is that a good thing? I don’t know. This was also the only apparently non-Hollywood trailer shown at the screening. Three point five stars out of five.

Godzilla x Kong

Looks like it will probably be bad but also like it could be a lot of fun. I liked how it revealed Godzilla as the ally at the end of the trailer and didn’t reveal the villain at all. Unless I misinterpreted something and Godzilla is the villain. Maybe it’s both. The possibilities are exciting :). Two stars out of five.

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

I’ve never been a Planet of the Apes guy but this trailer was well done for it. It was kind of giving Avatar the Way of Water trailer the way it just showed a bunch of settings in the world and not much action. Which was kind of boring because I don’t care about this franchise. I’m not going to see this and don’t know why it’s being made. One point five stars out of five.

Well there you have it. Five trailers for five upcoming films to look forward to. I hope this can guide you to enjoying new trailers and maybe even the movies they advertise!